After months of planning and rearranging our schedule, the Gracious Mistress of Parsonage has finally organized some holiday time for Christmas.
It takes a lot of work for her and I let her do as much as she wants to do. I'm such a husband.
She planned to stay a few days in St. Augustine. We always enjoy staying there and look forward to going there. The people who are the motel we are staying in are our good friends. It's great to hang out with friends you only see once a year.
I was exhausted from a year's work, my wife and I were looking forward to this time doing nothing. I didn't realize how much work was involved in doing nothing.
We checked in and I went into the room, sat down and just looked around to see where we would be staying for a few days. I looked up at the bed and on the pillow, there was something there. I didn't really know what it was and then I realized it was a lizard.
I love animals of all kinds. I hardly kill a fly, so when I saw this lizard, I was overjoyed. When my enthusiasm softened a little, I began to think that my wife did not appreciate the animal world as much as I did. This lizard would not do for her.
Looking at the lizard, I said, "Mr. Lizard, I don't think you should be here. It's not a good idea."
He turned his head, looked at me with his nose up in the air, the big lizard's eyes flashed several times, and then he looked away from his nose even worse in the air.
"You can ignore me if you like, but I only warn you that the worst part of your day has not started."
He looked at me again with his nose still up in the air, blinking his eyes, then looked away from another arrogant twitch of his head. Then he walked four steps away from me, his nose still in the air.
"Don't forget," I explained to the lizard, "I warned you what was coming."
I laughed because I watched the scene for some exciting moments. I could not wait for the door to open and the Gracious Mistress of the Parish Couple come in and see my little lizard friend. I just wish I had a bag of popcorn.
The wait didn't last long, and I soon heard the key rotate, the door opened and entered the ladies' court. Oh, where's my popcorn?
I saw the lizard looking at her, then looked at me, again his nose was in the air and he blinked arrogantly, then turned and looked in the opposite direction. He obviously didn't know what it was for.
That's when it happened. My wife looked at the pillow on the bed and said, "What is it?"
Before she pulled it out, she realized it was a lizard. Few things in life that scare my wife, but this lizard did, to my great pleasure.
When she saw the lizard, she screamed and the lizard jumped straight into the air. When she came down and landed on the pillow, she looked at me with eyes that looked a little scared. Then he jumped off the pillow and went under the bed.
That was not enough for my wife. She ran somewhere, got a broom, came back. I do not believe this lizard has ever seen a woman with a broom in her hand approach it. At least not someone like my wife.
She came in, moved the bed, and there was a lizard. She started rocking and as soon as she started swinging, the lizard started jumping. Oh, where's that popcorn?
The last I saw of the lizard, he jumped out the door and disappeared even though my wife followed him as far as she could go. Then she returned to the room.
She looked at me with one of those "looks" and said very sarcastically, "What are you laughing at?"
I promise you, I did my best not to laugh, but when he was in the room with me, you would laugh too. There is nothing more exciting to me than watching my wife jump in alarm at a little lizard who is more afraid of her than him.
For the next few days, whenever my wife looked at me and saw me laughing, she would comment, "You don't mean that lizard, do you?"
Once in my life, I was honest. "No, my dear. I thought of you."
During the rest of our stay there, whenever we came to our room, my wife searched from top to bottom to make sure my little friend was not there. You will never know how much I wished he had returned. But you didn't hear it from me.
Thinking about that little lizard, I remembered what David had said. "Though the host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war against me shall rise, I will be sure of it" (Psalm 27: 3).
All we have to fear is God and that is deep fear. The fear of God dissolves every other fear.